


The Path Of

by poeticname



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Discussion of Canon Religiousness, Fire Emblem: Three Houses Black Eagles Route, Gen, Introspection, Mid-Time Skip
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-12
Updated: 2020-01-12
Packaged: 2021-02-27 12:21:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,860
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22227046
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/poeticname/pseuds/poeticname
Summary: Ashe is sent to find Marianne, finds her in contemplation, and does some contemplating for himself.
Relationships: Ashe Duran | Ashe Ubert & Marianne von Edmund
Comments: 2
Kudos: 11





	The Path Of

Ashe finds Marianne a ways out from camp, in the newly abandoned town at the foot of Garreg Mach, standing in front of half a statue of the goddess.

He expected her to be praying but Marianne’s gaze is not worshipful and her hands are not folded. She is holding her back straight, her hands in fists by her side, and her eyes straight ahead. Her new sword hangs at her side, the red tape around its hilt standing out against her white and blue robes. She looks much more like an imposing Imperial soldier than Ashe would have ever imagined she could.

Yet she is out here, alone, staring at a statue of what is now the other side’s goddess without any anger.

There is a moment where Ashe wonders what to do with the situation. Whether this is praying or an entirely different kind of conversation it must be personal, and Marianne is more serious about the goddess than anyone else he knows. She must not want to be interrupted. He ought to leave her alone and report back that she’s safe.

Her hand near her blade and her faraway look seeming a little sharper than usual have nothing to do with his decision of course.

He nods to himself, takes a silent step back and in that moment Marianne speaks.

“I know you’re there.”

Ashe stops in his tracks, reminds himself she is still his peer, then faces her with what he hopes is a convincing grin.

“Aah, you caught me,” he takes a few steps forward, leaving enough room between them that he isn’t encroaching. “Lysithea was wondering where you had gone.”

“Thank her for her concern, but it’s not necessary.”

Marianne turns to face Ashe, and to his shock there is a small but real smile on her face.

“I’ve finished my business with the goddess for the time being.”

Ashe doesn’t know what to say that. So much has happened in the past few days he should be numb, but hearing one of his most consistently faithful classmates say she’s done with a goddess she was so earnestly devoted to makes him pause, makes him think about everything else they’ve given up.

“You don’t need to be sad for me,” Marianne says, jolting Ashe into realizing she has walked up beside him in his daze of shock. “I don’t mean I’m done with the goddess for good.”

“Oh,” Ashe wishes that weren’t a relief, Marianne’s faith has nothing to do with him in the end, but he does feel his shoulders lower, a pain in his head lessen. “You’re only done with this session then.”

Marianne nods, “Let’s go back to camp.”

She takes the lead down the path back up the hill and Ashe follows in a mild daze.

The two of them walk on the grass between the road and the trees, avoiding the muddy main road that would slow them down considerably. If Ashe were thinking straight he’d be looking at that road for tracks, any sign that supplies have arrived or that Church soldiers have been lurking, but he can only look at Marianne ahead of him.

The two of them have never been close enough for Ashe to know what’s going on in her head, but it’s unsettling to see change in her, to see a familiar face with an unfamiliar demeanour.

It’s so selfish to think in such a way that Ashe sends a quick prayer to the goddess in forgiveness, but is She listening? Does She hate him for the side he has chosen? Does She love all Her children equally, or not care at all?

He can’t help a scoff at himself under his breath. One classmate appears to change their relationship with the goddess and he turns it into a crisis of faith for himself. Lonato would be disappointed in him, and who is he doing this for if not Lonato? 

It’s certainly not for his own sake that he’s joined the Empire. All he wanted was a knighthood, and Edelgard hopes to abolish noble institutions altogether. No matter how much he thinks this side’s cause is genuinely heroic, he hasn’t quite figured out what’s left for himself afterwards.

Ashe wishes he wasn’t asking these questions now, on a long trudge up a muddy hill in the quiet company of a girl he might not know anymore. Marianne had the right idea, finding solitude for contemplation. He won’t be able to do that; once they’re back at camp Ashe will be put to work until the five minutes before he falls asleep. He doesn’t have time for his own feelings.

Marianne turns around to face him as he thinks, her face unreadable as ever as she sees him freeze under her gaze.

“Would you have liked to say a few prayers before we left?”

“Who, me?” Ashe shakes his head. “No, I don’t think that would help.”

Marianne’s eyes widen, “Then you are finished with the goddess?”

“That’s…”  
With her gaze fixed on him in surprise, Ashe can see his old classmate more clearly than before. He can see that it hasn’t even been a month since the war began so they’re all struggling, and furthermore he can see that Marianne only knows him as well as he knows her. She can’t understand anything he’s feeling if he doesn’t say it out loud.

His first impulse to deny he needs to talk about it dies on his tongue.

Ashe still looks away slightly before he speaks, sparing himself the ordeal of eye contact as he admits his own problem.

“I do not know if I am finished with Sothis or not.”

Marianne nods, “Many of our classmates are unsure.”

“I have said a prayer before I eat as long as I can remember,” Ashe finds himself saying, not knowing himself where he’s going with it. “I think the goddess is a joyous being, a generous being, and thinking of her that way helped me survive my hungriest nights with a hope they would end. Then when they did, if you think of Lonato as taking me in because he was taught to be generous by Her teachings, you can even say She was ultimately feeding me. Lonato, for his part, didn’t want my thanks and taught me to think of our situation that way.”

“I think…” Marianne brings a hand up to her chin thoughtfully, “No, it sounds like you didn’t think of it that way.”

“Not at first, and not wholly,” Ashe admits, tears forming as he thinks of how small his doubts were when he first joined Lonato’s home. “I live in the material realm, I can’t help but think of things materially and in that sense it could only be Lonato that fed me, but the goddess…”

“The goddess still played a role in what you loved about him.”

Ashe nods, “And yet because I loved him I must be here, for the future of Fódlan Lonato wanted to see, though by helping the Empire I oppose Her.”

Marianne lets that hang in the air. She seems surprised by his words, though he can’t even begin to guess at why.

If she who had a shine in her eyes when she looked at the Emperor could have doubts, why couldn’t he? Why would it be surprising that a boy whose adoptive father doubted the church would doubt its goddess, would struggle to reconcile what he was taught before with what he has now learned?

Or maybe he’s being ungenerous. Maybe, like he was thinking about her earlier, it’s simply surprising to her because they were only classmates, they didn’t know each other that well, and now Ashe has told her about his deepest fears.

He can feel his face heating up, he wants to tell Marianne to forget everything, let him shoulder his burdens on his own, but once again she speaks when he doesn’t expect it.

“I don’t think we oppose the goddess by following our hearts.”

Marianne nods once, like she’s encouraging herself, and looks Ashe in the eye.

“To create a peaceful society, is that not what both we and the goddess want?”

Ashe cannot even fathom what the goddess might want. Marianne puts her hands on his shoulders.

“The Church is not the goddess, and I think Edelgard is telling the truth that they have turned a blind eye towards tragedies that wouldn’t happen in a peaceful world.”

She moves her hands downwards, grabbing Ashe’s hands the way Lonato did when teaching Ashe his formal prayers.

“I think the goddess is with us, Ashe, even now. I think both She and Lonato would smile on your chosen path. I think they would both smile at your doubts, to know you care so deeply both about them and about the future.”

She smiles at him, even more surely than she did at the statue.

“Teacher received Her blessing, did they not?”

Ashe nods. He hasn’t thought of Byleth in days, couldn’t bear to, but Marianne is right. Byleth received Her blessing and then left the Church entirely.

“There is not one way to be right, Ashe. I know that makes it hard to tell what path you are on, but I fully believe we have chosen one of righteousness.”

He nods.

She nods decisively in return before withdrawing her hands and turning away.

“Belief is difficult, Ashe. I… I think I used to see the goddess as a means to an end. A way of getting my adoptive father off my back, a way of having my wishes granted. Having to defend my belief in Her has made me reconsider, made me seek Her out to come to my own conclusions.”

There’s a smile in her voice as she takes a step forward, up the hill.

“You’d do well to try talking to Her yourself, see what you think when you’re alone.”

“That’s the truest test?”

“As true as any, I’d think.”

Ashe doesn’t know what that means, but he thinks he feels what it means. Thinks he knows what his answer will be when he goes to see the goddess, even if he can’t even hope to articulate it.

There’s been something keeping him at the Imperial camp other than obligation. There’s something in him that sings when Edelgard speaks of a better world, something that tells him this is the cause he’s been waiting to pursue his whole life, even if the goddess disapproves.

It’s a different answer than the girl in front of him seems to have come to if he’s reading her veiled words and determined looks correctly, but she is right that there’s more than one path to righteousness.

Ashe feels honoured to be walking on a path beside Marianne’s, beside such a girl who’d have her own doubts and then so competently soothe someone else’s. He certainly can’t be a knight anymore, but maybe her code is one worth following, though he’ll need to work harder if he wants to compare. 

Ashe quickly takes a few steps up to Marianne’s side, feeling the sun above the trees for the first time in days.


End file.
